Elusive I

You have always been me.
I will always be you.
I am you.
Yet from where I sit now,
where are you?
Water in the clouds;
crystallizing star dust;
floating rain drops
smile over the tinder dry
landscape below.
Water in swamps
breed blood-sucking mosquitoes;
slugs; snails; slithering snakes; melodramatic toads:
life, moment-by-moment, born of decay.
Water in ice cubes
floating in a sea of Bourbon and Coke
slowly melt as I pop a pill
and bang my head against the stoic concrete wall.
You are the elusive electron
of the atom of my soul:
both particle and light,
not definitely there but where?